(Fun!)g Shui Audit

The other day I invited, Gina - a Feng Shui expert, to come to my house to do an audit. I did absolutely nothing to prepare.  I wanted her to see it in all of it’s frat-house glory.  I thought it would be a fun challenge – where do we even begin?  Are the giant cracks in hallway mirror going to be a problem?  Should there not be a collapsed soccer goal on the futon, piles of unfolded laundry and clutter everywhere?  It’s February now.  Is it time to take down the dried-up Christmas tree?  As I am writing this blog my son walked in to ask where the pepper shaker is. I directed him to the fireplace mantel.  Everything is everywhere.

Every time I go to someone’s house they say, "Sorry it’s such a mess!!!” referring to (I guess) the unfolded sweater draped on a chair and two pieces of mail sitting on the counter.  I always close my eyes and slowly shake my head and say that they would not feel like this if they saw my house. I think I am going to get a T-shirt printed with pictures of the inside of my house to prove it. 

That said, my house has been driving me crazy this past year. I kind of let it go amidst big life changes, dodging curve balls and my relentless pursuit of Happy Eyes. Thus resulting in me not having very happy eyes at home. I needed help focusing my efforts. After almost 12 years and it’s time to refresh almost every room. It’s in a weird teenager phase right now where it’s not the cute kid it once was.  There’s lots of acne, greasy hair and the facial hair is growing in weird.  I know one day it will be super handsome.  

Gina had me do meditations and visualizations to get started. I imagined gathering all the clutter up in my mind and cutting the cord.  We burned dried juniper and I jumped around to get loosened up.  There is so much purging that needs to happen.  She had me immediately throw away the dead flowers in a vase and some random iron rod in my office.  She talked me through all the guilt I felt for throwing massive amounts of plastic into the landfill by making the good point that it’s all going to end up there anyway one day.  Keeping all the old toys in the house will only drag me down. I needed her to sign the Permission Slip for me.

We went through each room and made a list.  We got to the kitchen and stood in awe of its dilapidated subway station vibes. There is no amount of sage burning that will remedy that kitchen.  Faces of drawers are missing from toddler tantrums and the door to the trash/recycling is hanging by one hinge.  I’m determined to wait for it to completely fall off before considering a renovation (hopefully this Fall!).

My office became the focus.  The track for sliding door is broken and the door is completely stuck. We had to shimmy sideways to get in the room.  I could see the alarms bells going off in Gina’s mind. “This needs to get fixed immediately” she said.  I texted the contractor a reminder text right away.  Gina brought her white vinegar and water mixture for cleaning, put on music, lit a candle and we took everything off the giant desk.  My kids don’t use the keyboard enough to merit the amount of desktop real estate on the other side of the desk.  I put it in the closet.  We took everything off the desk and wiped it down. 

Then I put back almost nothing. 

Just the laptop, monitor and keyboard.  Pictures of my kids, sticky notes and a pen. So much better this way. 

Folks – I have gone through this process so many times.  What makes it hard is finding motivation to start.   The clearing itself took 30 minutes.  That’s all. And the result is dramatic.  It looks so much better, but more importantly, it feels so much better.  The trick really is taking everything out, wiping down the surface ad then carefully deciding what you put back. Konmari style.

Bonus: The contractor came today to fix the door.  No more stuck energy.... and look!  I wrote a blog.

This process is a lot easier and so much more fun to do it with someone else. Find Gina here:  https://ginacasbarro.com/coaching

Ahhhh... exhale.